Saturday, March 17, 2012

Meet 0101110, Our New Friend

Hi, I'm 0101110

Greetings Earthlings. I have been deployed from the planet Bräuzeer contained in the UDFj-39546284 Galaxy, which is approximately 13.2 billion light-years from Earth. We are fluent in 10,126 languages, including English. My planet Bräuzeer is interested in a liquid you create called beer. Where I'm from no such thing exists. We used our recently developed Hopdar Sensor Technology (HST) and have found the Pacific Northwest produces some of the best beer in the United States. After careful analysis we have chosen Oregon as our test site; Portland to be exact. Bräuzeer was amazed when they looked at their radar findings and saw 47+ breweries in the metropolitan area. Fascinated by this enormous number they have sent me, 0101110 to explore the love you humanoids have with beer. Oh, and don’t worry, we aren’t going to try to take over your planet like those Hollywood movies want you to believe.

Bräuzeer as seen from your crappy Hubble Space Telescope


My space craft was programmed to land at 45° 33' 7.2'', -122° 40' 32.2''. As it turns out, this was the exact coordinates of what I have become to know as Bridgetown Beerhouse. I made it, but was in bad shape from a very rough landing. Almost unconscious outside Bridgetown’s entrance, I was scooped up off the ground by a scruffy looking human who was headed out the door. I noticed one particular article of clothing the earthly being was wearing had some strange symbols on it; one I recognized was the state of Oregon. Below it, in tiny letters was some text. It read Eyeluvbeer. I would call this Earthling, Eyeluvbeer.

Eyeluvbeer, put me in his pocket and we traveled by foot to the place he calls home. So far, I have been on Earth for roughly two weeks. In that time, I have consumed a number of beers and have begun to see why you humans love it so much. It's certainly delicious, there seems to be a style for everyone’s liking and more importantly, it brings people together. I have met some really great beings in Portland while out sipping a pint. They think I look a little funny at first, but they figure I’m just keeping Portland weird.

Eyeluvbeer bought me a
HUB Galactic Imperial Red.  It was out of
this world!
Eyeluvbeer has promised to take me out more and more. He said he’d be happy to have me as a guest blogger or at least contribute somehow to the beer blog he maintains. Eventually I will have to return to Bräuzeer to report my discoveries. Until then, I hope we cross paths and can enjoy a pint together.

Happy St. Patricks Day,
0101110

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